Moving on (a hunger games fanfiction)
by dwtcthespark
Summary: a story following katniss and peeta through their relationship before the mockingjay epilogue. in other words everlark marriage, babies and maybe some surprises. please review :)
1. prologue

**_I don't own any of these characters they belong to suzanne colins. please vote and tell me what you think_**

I wake up on my rocking chair by the dying fire screaming and covered in sweat , i crave Peeta's gentle touch but I know I cannot have that as far as i know he is still at the capitol trying to fight off the flashbacks and guilt. I turn my head slowly to the window, the sun is just starting to rise ,it is such a soft beautiful shade of orange, i start to ache not knowing why but then remembering why. Peeta ,this is his favourite colour . It has been two months since my trail for killing coin and i haven't moved a muscle, haymitch and greasy sae are on suicide watch, sae takes meal times (because haymitch is a worthless cook) and haymitch stops by between, but I don't think he even remembers his visits due to his drinking,though he does visit which is the main thing. I don't blame them for coming round because I have completely given up on life, my mum is living 4 unable to cope with memories that live in this district ,everyone i love is dead , Rue, Cinna , Finnick, Madge, Mags, my Dad and the one that puts an ache in my heart a million times more than rest, Prim , my sweet loving caring baby sister."PRIM" i choke out and then burst into tears , as if he was all most waiting for the Que buttercup jumps up on my lap rubbing his soft,golden face against mine , it soothes me. Ever since i found him back at 12 we have bonded by the fact that she is gone. We moan together and i cry into his back, the soft fur calming me, I let out one more heart ached cry then fall asleep into buttercups fur.


	2. haymitch's news

I wake up to the clattering of pots and pans i look around the room dazed to see sae making me breakfast. I quickly put my head back down and pretend to sleep ,i don't want to eat, i want to curl up into a ball and die in peace there is nothing left for me in this life anymore.

" Hey i saw that katniss i know you are awake " sae nearly shouts ,

i just groan and look away from her "katniss you have to eat please" she begs "just look at your self you could easily count your ribs ! " , I look down and realize that she was right, ive got the body of an 8 year old, in fact i'm skinnier, sae sees the shock in my face "see katniss even you are surprised at your appearance! please just east a tiny bit and take your pills" i see a single tear roll down her cheek. I hate seeing her like this iv'e never seen her this upset she must truly care about me.

"OK" i sigh, a smile creeps on her lips as she comes over to me with a bowl of porridge and a glass of water, i shoo a still sleeping buttercup off my lap and he hisses at me when he hits the floor "ah shut up" i say with a slight grin on my face, this is the first time i even showed the tiniest bit of happiness for a long time. sae hands me the bowl and watches as i put a thimble worth of the warm sloppy stuff down my throat. I take another bite and hand her back the bowl because i'm staring to feel queasy , sae gives me a half hearted smile and takes the bowl back, i know she wants me to eat more but i thinks she just accepts the fact that i'm even eating and hands me the water and a couple of blue pills. I glug down the water in a flash but stare at the pills like they were poison. I think sae catches on because she sighs then says

"katniss you need to take them they will help you" i get so furious by this why would anyone want to help me! I'm a murderer! I should be dead! everyone hates me and I don't blame them.

" If you want to help me then why don't you just let me die !" i spit out i can tell that really hurt her. Words are about to form from the tip of my tongue when haymitch walks in. He completely ignores me and walks straight over to sae " I need to talk to you now" he says , you can tell the urgency in his voice. He takes her into the back garden but the windows are open so i make our some of their whispers, "he's back "


	3. he's back ?

What? I feel nervous and excited at the same time, they must be talking about peeta who else could "he" be? i slowly creep over to the kitchen window trying to be quiet i can hear haymitch's whisper clearly now "he is over at his house now " I start to run as fast as i can. I slam the door and run out of the house, not caring if haymitch and sae hears me, all i care about is having my peeta back, my good friend. The word doesn't feel right we are much more than friends we have been through so much together, though anything bigger than friend scares me , i'm not sure how i feel about him all i know is that iv'e missed him so much and now i finally get to see him. I am on the first step to his door when i hear footprints and haymitch shouting "katniss don't he might not be ready to see you" i barley listened to what he was saying as i walked up the step. My hand starts to grip the door handle when my stomach churns and i throw up on the step, i collapse down to my knees getting the rest of the vile stuff up, i am surprised i am throwing up this much because iv'e only had a handfull of food in the past week, my head is spinning now and my vision is blurred i look down on the ground to see it covered in clear vomit but my vomit has black bits and traces of blood. I am about to call for help when everything goes black.


	4. stay with me ?

**katniss P.O.V**

wake up in my bed, dazed and confused, why am i here? the last thing i remember was puking on peetas doorstep, i start to sit up but i get a blinding pain in my head, I put my hand on my head and it comes back covered in blood, so i put my head back down on my pillow and try to go back to sleep. After about half an hour sleep i wake up screaming , i don't think it's ever been this bad before. I hear a knock on the door "cccome iin " i choke out. the door slowly creaks open i hear peetas voice saying

" i just wanted to give you-" he stops himself when he sees me crying, throws a paper bag on the bed and cradles me into his arms "hey" he says with a worried look on his face

"hey" i say a smile creeps on to my face as his bright blue eyes look into mine "look at you, i didn't think i'd see you smiling " he say i start to laugh tears running down my face

" you're really here?" i ask, believing that he's a hallucination from the medication.

"yes i'm here katniss" my heart melts when he says my name

" oh peeta I've missed you so much !" peeta doesn't say anything he just hugs me tighter. Peeta puts me in the covers and starts to walk away "no wait !" i cry out he turns on his heals and looks at me , i can't ask him to stay here can i ? I wipe that thought out of my head and whisper "stay with me" hi face lights up he takes off his shirt and climbs in bed with me. I rest my head on his perfectly toned stomach, it's been so long since i've been held by his strong arms, he strokes my hair and whispers

"always" and at that point i drift into sleep.


	5. home at last (peeta's POV)

i get off the train and step into the fresh open air of district 12, my home, or at least that's what they told me. as i step into the town square i start to recognize everything the justice building the hob and a pile of ashes and rubble that used to be my family bakery. I fall to my knees and grab a hand full of ashes, letting it slip through my fingers as I burst into tears. My family they are all gone,"BECAUSE OF HER" i hear in my mind, i'm stating to get a flashback so i hold on as tight as i can to our mailbox, i can feel the pain and anger rushing through my body so i do what dr lough told me to do (i had to change to a better dr ) i say everything i know in my life to be true.

_**my name is peeta mellark**_

_**, i am 18 years old,**_

_**i was in two hunger games with katniss everdeen and we survived**_

_**, i was captured and tortured by the capitol**_

_**, the rebbels saved me so did katniss**_

_**, my family is dead, it wasn't katniss it was the capitol**_

_**, i came back for katniss i love katniss, i love katniss ,i love katniss**_

i keep repeating this over and over again in my head until i'm blue in the face, i don't hurt anyone with my flashbacks anymore i just get them every now and then , but i suspect i will get them more often here until i get used to district 12 again. I don't care about my emotions anymore i just came back for katniss, i love her with all my heart and i want to see her that thought i head off to her house, i'm so excited to see her , i start to run as fast as i can and eventually i'm outside her house in the victors village, when i hear a familiar voice

"what are you doing here boy?" he walks up to me

"nice to see you too haymitch" he looks annoyed but i don't know why and he looks pretty sober which is a surprise

"it's good to see you back but you have to stay away from her, she's given up on life she's not eating she's on strong depression medication, she sleeps most of the day only to be waken up with night terrors of the games and the rebellion and prim, we've practically been on suicide watch for god's sake! seeing you will take her over the edge and that is not what she needs right now" this all shocks me so much but one word really punches a hole through my heart

"suicide?" i say shocked, haymitch looks at me like he was having a debate with himself on wether to tell me something, but by the look on his face i can tell it's not going to happen

"it's alright" i choke out "i can tell where i'm not wanted " i walk into my house trying to hold back the tears. I sit on the couch and start to think about what haymitch said, i can't believe she is such a mess,ican't just sit here while she dies! I decide to make katniss eat the only way i know how "cheese buns " i whisper to myself she loves them if she could eat anything she would eat them i go straight to work i stark making the batter then kneading the dough , i love baking it calms me esecially when it's for katniss, i sprinkle them with cheese and put them in the oven. when they are done and have cooled i put them in a paper bag and walk over to the door so i can take them to haymitch to give to her, when i hear a loud bang on my door. I open it to find katniss passed out on the steps in a pile of her own vomit and a scary pool of blood


	6. peeta mellark, my friend

** 2 weeks later **

i wake up in peetas arms i am in his house for the 6th day in a row i hate sleeping in my own house anymore there is too much memories in there anyway i think peetas house is cozier. His blue eyes meet mine and i smile " hey sleepy head " he whispers

"hey, how long have you been awake?" i say not taking my eyes out of his

"not long, a bout half an hour" he says, i love how he doesn't move while i'm sleeping he really would do anything for me.

"why didn't you wake me?" i said

"you looked so happy i could dare myself to wake you. no nightmares?"

"no, not one" i say not surprised , when i'm safe with peeta they rarely come "what about you?" i ask , i don't think he had any but he doesn't scream or move or kick like i do when i'm having a nightmare so sometimes it's hard to tell

" no" he says his smile growing by the minute "want breakfast?" he asks, i practically forgot about my depression after peeta came home, it's hard to starve yourself when your friend is a baker, i'm still really wondering about that word peeta mellark is my friend , no peeta mellark is much more than that but how much more? my thoughts are interupted by my stomach rumbling "i'll take that as a yes then " he says laughing. We walk downstairs into the kitchen i'm about to sit down at the table when peeta takes my hand and pulls me to the stove

"what are you doing?" i ask him

" i'm gonna teach you to make pancakes" he says smiling from ear to ear

"peeta you know i'm a worthless cook " which is extremely true i can't even make toast

"that's why I'm going to teach you "he says giggling to himself , he try's to shows me how to crack an egg and i think i can do it, but i have an idea i say

"so like this?" then i cracked it on his head

"oh you wanna play girl on fire? " he grabs a hand full of flour and throws it right in my face i scream a little girly scream that i don't think i've ever heard come out of my mouth before. Next thing i know we are trowing food left right and centre then all of a sudden i stop, wrap my arms around him and kiss him, i can feel sparks in my stomach and heat radiating all over my body. I can feel the hunger that i felt on the beach, this feels so right. I stop and come up for air , peeta gives me a questioning smile, he looks like he was about to ask me something but then just kisses me back, i love the feeling he gives me.

"we better get this mess cleaned up" i say with a sigh

"but i was having fun" peeta says in a seductive but cheeky voice

"me too, but i'm hungry and i know what you're like about hygiene " i say giggling , this is so weird, the way i act around him i never giggle.

"ok" he sighs "but first one thing" he smiles and kisses me. after an hour of cleaning the place is sparkling. I completely forget about the fact that i'm hungry and run into peetas arms, i wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him, i come up for air and peeta chokes out "wanna go out for brunch?" i look at him wondering why he would want to go out but my stomach growls and i change my answer

"ok , but i need a shower"

"me too" he replies," but you go first"

"ok, see you in a minute" i say and peck him on the cheek. the hot water is drizzling down my body while i'm thinking how did it all happen so quickly, it's like all these repressed feelings came out at once. But i now longer care i'm with peeta and that is all that matters, is he my boyfriend am i his girlfriend ? you would think so by the way we acted in the kitchen. My thoughts are interrupted by a knocking of the bathroom door

"katniss are you alright ?" i look at the clock and realize iv'e been in here for an hour!

"yeah peeta i'm fine,sorry i just lost track of time " i get out of the shower, towel dry myself and my hair, put on my underwear and leave the bathroom without even thinking. Peeta looks shocked as i leave the bathroom i immediately cover my chest even though i'm wearing a bra

"oh katniss i'm sorry, i didn't mean to look at your chest" says peeta even though he still looking

"no it's not that it's just my skin graphs i'm hideous!" my skin looks terrible no matter how much surgery the doctors did i will never look the same

." i think you're beautiful just the way you are" i blush, then he kisses my collarbone i feel the warmth radiate through my body. I put my hands on his face and kiss him passionately. I'm interrupted to peeta saying "i think i should get in the shower"

"ok" i kiss him before he gets into the shower and closes the door.


	7. first date

I get dressed in a tank top and jeans. Peeta comes into the bathroom in his boxers , i can't help but admire his body, all those years of lifting flour have definitely done him justice. i slide my hands up his chest and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. It feels so natural now i love this feeling but i'm afraid he will be taken away from me, this i was what happens with me. i let someone into my life but then get scared in case something happens to them. Peeta puts on a white t shirt and jeans and we head off for the new restaurant near the justice building. The district is coming along great there are about 3 restaurants since everyone in the district has money now so they can afford to eat out every now and then. While we were walking peeta's hand slipped into mine, it felt so right i stopped dead in my tracks and kissed him, peeta came up for air , i was about to kiss him when he interrupted

"the restaurant will be closing by the time your finished " i laugh and continue walking even though i really crave his touch. When we get to the restaurant i can't help but notice people staring and whispering. I know were famous but i thought the people in our district that used to see us everyday would be a bit more discreet. Peeta sees that i'm uncomfortable and says "don't worry katniss let them stare" he puts my hand in his and rubs it with thumb, i love when he does that he can calm me no matter what the situation is. i get a thought in my head

"you know peeta this is actually our first date, because anything in the capitol doesn't really count " Peeta sits there thinking for a moment

" i guess you're right" he lifts his orange juice in the air "to our first date"he says with a smile on his face" i knock my glass against his

"happy first date" i say giggling he reaches across the table and kisses me, i can feel the sparks again but i know that there is bound to be people looking so i stop and stare into his deep blue eyes.

"so what do you want to eat, i don't think we can have brunch anymore it's four o clock" i look at the menu for a moment and realize that they don't have lamb stew a sigh escapes my lips "whats wrong?" peeta asks in a serious tone

"no lamb stew" a laugh escapes my lips peeta joins in, after five minutes of laughing we can't stop but we are interrupted by a waitress waiting to take our order. A dish i had in the capitol is the first i lay eyes on so i go for that, not really caring about food anymore " i'll have the orange chicken please" i say while still laughing

"i'll have the same" peeta says like he's about to explode with laughter we hand her the menus and she leaves but not before saying

"thank you for your service to our country, and you guys are really cute together" i can't help but blush

"thank you" i say my eyes still locked on peetas, we are just staring into each others eyes for the next five minutes until peeta interrupts me by saying

" i'm thinking of reopening the old bakery, well rebuilding " a smile escapes his lips as he says " what do you think ?"

"i think you should go for it" his face lights up when he hears me.

" you really think so? "

"yes a lot of people loved your bakery, i remember prim used to love your cakes" i tear runs down my cheek , peeta can see the pain in my eyes and changes the subject

" are you thinking about starting to go hunting again?" i'm happy he did i don't want to talk about the bakery anymore.

"I might, especially if your gonna be at the bakery all day"

"why don't you work at the bakery every now and then give you something to do " he asks

"peeta do you really think that's a good idea i can't bake to save my life!"

" no i mean just on the register " i think about his question for a moment, that's not a bad idea i'll get to see peeta more and i'll get loads of cheese buns, i smile at my thoughts all i can think about is food

"yeah ok " he smiles from ear to ear "i can get you some wild herbs as well "

" yeah that's a good idea there are some i can't get at the stalls but i'm positive you'll know were to get them" i blush though i don't know why. after another 5 minutes or food is placed on the table, immediately get stuck in finishing in 1 minute " wow you were hungry peeta says with still most of his on his plate, i wait a couple of minutes then peeta finishes with a relived sigh. we pay and leave.

"that was the best date ever peeta" i say i kiss him passionately. I wasn't lying


	8. the star crossed lovers of district 12

we decide to visit haymitch on the way home, we walk to his back garden where he is sitting on his porch feeding geese i noticed my hand was still in his and pull it away quickly. "I saw that sweetheart" he says with a smug look on his face

"saw what" i say

"there is no point in hiding the fact that you two are together everyone in panem knows " me and peeta look at each other

"what? how?" i say confused

"the pictures are all over the tv" i take peetas hand back in mine and walk into haymitch's living room it's very clean, which it has been since i hired hazelle, which i'm really glad i did now. I sit on his couch and turn on the tv the first thing that pops up is a picture of peeta and i walking through the square hand in hand a lady's voice says

"it seems that the star-crossed-lovers of district 12 wan't all for the games as we see them going on what looks like a date, witnesses stated that they went into a local restaurant and were seen kissing multiple times" it changes to a picture of us kissing in the square "aww aren't they cute together, well that's all for to days news i'm caudia lartine" haymitch wasn't kidding they'll probably be playing this over and over again i bury my head in his chest

"so what if they know " " i hate people butting in on my private life" i say grumpily

"katniss you're practically a historical figure you'll always be famous, just ignore them, they wont go away everybody loves you including me " he smiles at me. i kiss him passionately. I don't know how to respond to that i know he loves me but do i love him? I have no idea, i'm sure deep down i know the answer but until i realize it i'm not going to respond to that i don't want to tell him something that might not be true it would devastate him. we are still kissing when haymitch walks in and gave us a look like he was going to barf

"get a room" peeta looks at me smiles and says

"ok" he grabs my hand and takes me to his house, we are just about to go inside when reporters practically appeared out of nowhere they are screaming questions at us that i can't even hear but peeta is starting to answer them "yes we are very happy together, no we have no plans for the future at the moment" i get very uncomfortable and peeta can tell he takes my hand and walks me inside, we go into the living room and i sit on the couch while peeta closes the curtains he open his arms and i walk straight in to them we sit on the couch together watching a movie, peeta is stroking my hair, it soothes me after about 10 minutes of this i fall asleep in his arms. I am woken up by the sound of peeta saying "hey sleepyhead want to go to bed?" i nod ok he grabs my hand and i say

"no" he looks at me confused i jump onto his back and say while laughing " now go !" he starts laughing

"ok your highness" he runs up the stairs and then throws me on the bed

"hey!" i shout and pull him on top of me, i lay there kissing him for a while until my yawn interrupts us

"come on sleepy bed time " peeta says with a smile i realize i have no clean pajamas but i have an idea

"peeta can i borrow a shirt iv'e no pajamas" his face lights up but then stares into a space like he's thinking about something. "What are you thinking about", i say while slipping on his shirt.

"Well i was just thinking that maybe if you wanted to you might want to emmm" iv'e never seen him this nervous before, i get into bed and cuddle up next to him

" do what " i ask him he stays silent for a moment then looks into my eyes, my heart melts

"move in with me" i kiss him until i have to come up for air "i'm taking that as a yes then"

" a million times yes" i say not taking my eyes out of his deep blue ones. he kisses me on the forehead and i drift off into sleep


	9. moving in

The next morning i wake up but peeta's not here, i walk downstairs to see him making eggs i wrap my arms around his waist from behind him "morning roomie" i say

"morning" he says turning his head away from me, i put my hands in his face and turn his head around, i can see his eyes are red and puffy i immediately take the frying pan out of his hands, put it down and turn the stove off.

"Peeta what's wrong?" i ask him

"nothing just nightmares"

"why didn't you wake me?"

"i didn't want to you looked so peace full, anyway i get them all the time i'm used to them" i'm starting to get worried, all the time?

"Peeta" i say in a serious tone " how often do you get nightmares?" "katniss it doesn't matter i'm fine really"

"Peeta"

"fine every night, sometimes more than once" he starts to cry, i wipe away his tears

"have you been taking your pills? "

"yes"

"promise?"

"promise"

"i'm calling dr lough"

"no katniss please don't"

" i have to, the doctors said that recurring nightmares might bring back your flashbacks" he sighs knowing what he does to me during his flashbacks, i know that would convince him, i walk towards the phone and dial dr loughs number

" katniss i'll make breakfast i'm not in the mood to speak to him just tell him what i said"

"ok" i say and give him a halfhearted smile

"hello" i hear a voice coming out of the phone

"hi dr lough, it's katniss"

"hi katniss is there anything wrong?"

"yes it's peeta, he's having nightmares every night i'm worried about him" the phone is silent for a moment

"ok and how long has this been going on for?"

"just a second.. peeta! how long have you been having nightmare's?"

"about a week" he says still looking at the eggs "about a week he says" i tell dr lough

" well it's not that serious then wait about two months if it gets any worse i'll need him to visit me in the capitol"

"ok thank you bye" i hang up the phone and walk over to peeta and kiss him

"thanks katniss, these are ready now" i grab a plate and sit at the table i eat it all up really quickly I'm starving.I eat the entire plate in under a minute "wow you were hungry" peeta says surprised

" i know, well i'll need all the energy i could get for moving today" peeta looks confused but then his face lights up with recognition

"oh yeah, do you need any help with that?"

"yeah i would love some" i kiss him lightly. After Peeta had finished his breakfast we walked over to my house to start had finished all of the rooms apart from my own, peeta was looking through my closet and i was stuffing clothes off the floor and into a bag

"katniss?" i heard peeta say behind me, i look around to see peeta holding a silver parachute in his hand, he opened it to find a shiny pearl he picked up and caressed it in his hands, his deep blue eyes lock into mine and a single tear rolled down his cheek " you kept it?" he managed to choke out, i stand up and kiss him ,

"of course i kept it, you gave it to me. It kept me sane in thirteen, it was the only memory i had of you, well apart from this " i reach into my top and pull out a golden locket his face seems shocked but is covered by a beautiful smile, his smile becomes brighter by the second.

"katniss i love you" he kisses me passionately, just thinking back makes me think of how much i missed him, how i felt when i thought he would never be the same, when his heart stopped in the 75th arena every single one of my tears were real. I think of how i would feel if i ever lost him again, that's when i realize i love peeta, no i don't just love him i need him. I come up for air and start crying, his face becomes more serious "katniss whats wrong" but the fact is there is nothing wrong i love peeta with all my heart and he needs to know

"nothing. peeta ?"

"yeah?" i smile and choke out

"ii.. love you too" tears stream down his face and he starts laughing

"really?" i look into his hope full blue eyes , my heart melts

"with all my heart" i whisper he picks me up and twirls me around kissing me passionately, i push him onto the bed, I climb on top of him and start pulling of his shirt. He looks at me questionably

"katniss are you sure?" i nod while taking his pants off, he starts to pull off my tank top and bra and we get under the covers. The night was such a blur but i loved every moment.


	10. the morning after

I wake up in my bedroom, i sit up and look at the clock it's only 8. I look at peeta, he's so beautiful when he sleeps, you wouldn't think of him as someone who has been through as much as he has, he looks so innocent. I was about to get up when i notice that we are both naked under the covers, i think back to last night and smile. This time two years ago i never thought i'd do this with my fellow tribute, i can't help but admire his body, i rest my head on his chest and run my fingers up and down his abs, they're so perfect, so is he. I can't bear not seeing those beautiful eyes any longer, i climb on top of him and kiss him awake, his eyes flutter open and he smiles as they meet mine "good morning beautiful " i blush and kiss him

"come on peeta we need to finish packing" i pull him out of bed and put my clothes back on , i feel his arms wrapped around my waist

" last night was fun , huh " he says chuckling, i blush

"it was one of the best nights of my life" i say back

"katniss, i love you so much" he says while kissing my neck

"i love you too" we manage to pry each other away from our embrace so we can pack. 2 hours later all my things are in his house and put away, i actually live with him now, 2 years ago if someone told me that i would be hopelessly in love with peeta melark, i'd probably burst into tears laughing. We sit down on the couch watching a movie out of nowhere peeta says " do you want to go out for dinner tonight?" i smile at the thought he can be so romantic,

"i'd love to" a say and kiss him

"but on one condition" he looks at me confused

"what's that?" he asks me

" we go to somewhere with lamb stew" we burst out laughing

"deal" he says holding back tears. We sit together for hours watching movie after movie, until peeta points at the clock and says

" we need to start getting ready soon so we can get there before the restaurant closes" i sigh and kiss him lightly

"ok, i'm off for a shower". After i get out of the shower i put on a yellow polka dot dress and flat yellow shoes and brush my hair but i decide to keep it down, i come into the bedroom and peeta is wearing a dress shirt and trousers he looks really handsome, his face lights up as i enter the room

"wow, katniss you look beautiful" i blush

"you don't look to bad yourself" i giggle i put my arms around his neck and kiss him. "you ready?" i ask him

"yeah, lets go" his hand slips into mine and we head out the door, i realize we haven't checked on haymitch in a while so we head for his house we walk through the door and see haymitch and some girl on the couch kissing

"oh katniss, peeta i didn't see you there" she says in her annoying high pitched capitol accent

"Effie" i say shocked, this woman looks nothing like effie, she has long flowing brown hair and hazel eyes she is wearing normal clothes and only a small amount of make up

"yeah, me and effie are kind of .. em dating now" haymitch says nearly embarrassed i run up to them and hug them tightly

"i'm so happy for you guys" i say smiling, and i truly am, to be honest i always thought there was something between them.

"i could say the same for you two, haymitch told me that you guys are going out for real this time." she smiles brightly, she reminds me of a child but that's what makes her effie.

"thanks effie actually me and peeta are living together now"

"well it's about time" haymitch spits out laughing at his own joke

"so whats with the clothes?" effie says quickly changing the subject

"oh we're going out for dinner" i say smiling

"yeah katniss we have to go now if we want to actually eat" peeta says smiling

"ok well we'll talk to you later bye" i say as we walk out the door

" well that was unexpected" peeta says and we both burst out laughing

"i'm happy for them ,they actually make a cute couple"

"they really do " peeta says. we head off to the restaurant, we eat, we laugh i tell him all about the lake i used to go to with my father, he tells me about his brothers pushing him into a muddy puddle because he wouldn't talk to me and i laugh, we practically just got through the door when we started pulling each others clothing off peeta carries me upstairs. I don't know what has gotten into me lately


	11. the talk

_**2 months later**_

i wake up by peeta's gentle kiss, i smile as his deep blue eyes meet mine. "good morning beautiful" he whispers as a smile forms on his lips

"morning" i say and kiss him back. while we were kissing a banging noise came from downstairs, peeta instinctively wraps his arms around me tightly.

"katniss, peeta are you there?" i hear effie's voice boom throughout the house

"shh , don't make a sound" peeta's confusion shows on his face

"why" he asks

"we are naked, if she sees us she will have a fit" peeta giggles quietly

"oh yeah, forgot about that" he says smiling and kissing me neck

"peeta stop, i'll make a noise " i say annoyed at myself for stopping him, i sit up knocking a shoe off the bed and onto the floor "shit" i whisper even though there's no point in whispering she knows we're here "peeta we can't hide it our clothes are still on the stairs" i say

"katniss peeta i know you're here" i hear effie say as she walks up the stairs, i know that there's no time to change so i full the covers up as far as i can, then effie comes bursting through the door "why didn't you come down when i called y-" she stops when she sees us lying in bed naked "KATNISS PEETA what the -, i mean your not even married!" she says fuming

"are you and haymitch married?" i ask her already knowing the answer

"no of course not " she says confused by my question

"exactly, and remember how we found you two a couple of months ago "

"that's completley different we are adul-" she gets interrupted by a completely sober haymitch bursting through the door

"honey whats w-" he already knows the answer as soon as he sees me and peeta naked in bed together "well good for you sweetheart, it's about time you let him into your pan-"

"HAYMITCH!" me effie and peeta shout at the same time haymitch bursts out laughing, effie slaps him on the arm

"you two get your clothes back on and come downstairs for a serious talk!" she takes haymitch by the hand and slams the door behind her. me and peeta burst out laughing

"did that actually just happen?" peeta asks me

" it happened alright" i say

" ok we need to get dressed" peeta says changing the subject

"just let me have a shower first, i still haven't washed after last night " i say winking at peeta, i get out of bed and peeta wraps his arms around my waist from behind he

"wait before you go there's something i want to give you"

"what's that?" i ask

"oh just this" he twirls me around and kisses me passionately

" i love you so much" i say a smile spreads on his face

"i love you too katniss" i give him another kiss and hop into the shower while i'm standing under the water i can't help but wonder what effie is gonna say in her "talk", i obviously know that sex is the subject but it's how far she'll go, all i know is that this will be the most awkward conversation iv'e ever had. i get out of the shower and get dressed peeta is sitting on the bed waiting for me "you ready ?" he asks me i sigh

"ready as i'll ever be " peeta slips his hand into mine and we walk downstairs to find effie sitting on the couch with haymitch

" sit down you two" me and peeta take a seat on the couch opposite effie and haymitch "now, i know you are grown up but it doesn't mean you can do whatever you want, now it's em natural for you to have eemm ... urges but you're practically children" says effie i can tell that she's had her say and that it's our turn to speak

"well effie we have been through a lot we've matured in a way that you will never understand. anyway i love him with all my heart and i know he feels the same way so what is wrong with that" effie looks shocked by what i said i think it's mostly the loving peeta part

" well i still don't think that is an excuse, katniss you do know that you could have gotten pregnant, i mean were you even using protection?" i start to feel really uncomfortable and peeta can tell so he steps in and says

"of course we were effie do you really think i would even consider doing that with no protection!"

" well you shouldn't be doing THAT anyway katniss you know you shouldn't' lose your virginity until you're married" actually my first time wasn't 2 months ago it was before the quell, because i knew i wouldn't be going home if my plan to keep peeta alive was successful.

"it doesn't matter i still wouldn't have been a virgin a year ago!" i spit out but then regret my words

"WHAT?" haymitch and Effie yell at the same time "WHEN?" me and peeta sigh

"before the quell, in the training center like a week before the games" haymitch and effie both looked shocked at what i said

" so you actually were pregnant?"haymitch says i didn't know at the time because i was too early for any symptoms but i lost it when the force field exploded i found out in thirteen that was one of the reasons i was so depressed i never told anyone not even prim

"yes" i say tears running down my face, peeta looks at me in horror i know i have to explain myself "i...i... d..ddiidn't know i was too early to have any symptoms, by the time i found out in thirteen iiii..tt w..aas too late" i choke out and burst into tears effie and haymitch look shocked but peeta just looks hurt

"katniss why didn't you tell me" peeta says with tears running down his cheeks

" because i never told anyone! every time i talk about losing our baby it kills me! it kills me that i never felt a kick, it kills me that i never got to hold our baby, to hold something half me and half you and to fall in love with it. i was going to tell you when you were rescued but then you nearly killed me, after a while it left my mind completely until now!" i run as fast as i can to the only place that gives my sanity ,the woods before i know it i am at the lake i walk inside the cabin and put a log on the fire. wrap a blanket around myself and sob loudly, i have never told anyone that i even tried to cover it up in my own thoughts, i put my hand on my stomach and cry, it didn't even happen that long ago i probably still would be pregnant or just given birth if i didn't miscarry. an hour passes and i can hear peeta's voice shouting my name

"katniss, katniss, where are you?" a couple minutes pass and he bursts through the door of the cabin

"katniss thank god" he picks me up and cradles me in his arms

"hhhoooww didd yyou ffind me ?" i choke out

"you told me about how you always went here with your dad and i remember what it looks like from one of your propo's"

"iimm ssoorry pppeeta"

"it doesn't matter, sure you didn't want kids anyway" peeta says, he always trys to make the best out of a bad situation

"i did want kids just not in a world with snow in it."i admit peeta smiles, i know he's always wanted kids so this makes him happy.

"i love you so much katniss"

"i love you too peeta" all of a sudden my sadness turns to passion and i kiss him, i start to take off his shirt and he takes off mine, he fiddles with my bra while i take off his trousers, my bra comes off and he takes off my underwear and we kiss beside the roaring fire.


	12. real or not real?

i awake in the cabin by the lake beside the dying fire, i look beside me to see peeta isn't there. i get up and walk over to the door but then remember that i have no clothes on, i walk over to my pile of clothes and underwear from last night and get dressed. I leave the cabin to see peeta walking towards me "hey where were you?" i ask quite annoyed that he left me

"getting this, thought you might be hungry" he lifts up a picnic basket

"thanks i'm starving " i say i'm about to walk into the cabin when peeta says

"oh do you not want to eat outside it's a nice day" i look around me and realize that it's a beautiful day

"ok" peeta lays a blanket on the grass and we lay there holding each other not even talking. We stay like this for a while until my stomach rumbles and peeta suggests we eat, hes brought loads of food, cheese buns, fruit, buns, biscuits, even chocolate covered strawberries. We spend the rest of the day eating, talking and of course kissing. Soon enough the sun is starting to set it's beautiful

"i truly understand why this is your favourite colour now, it' so beautiful" the corners of his lips raise up into a smile, it melts my heart.

"Katniss, you love me real or not real?" i start to smile then say

"real" all of a sudden he gets down on one knee and says

"then would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" he takes a black box out of his pocket and opens it a beautiful gold ring with hundreds of diamonds lays there tears start to stream down my face,

"yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" he puts the ring on my finger and i practically jump on top of him, kissing him with every amount of passion in my being, he lifts me up and twirls me around, i start to hiccup so he puts me down, he turns on his radio and i dance with him with my head on his shoulder

"i love you peeta" i whisper

"i love you too katniss" when the song is over i suggest that we go for a swim in the lake

"but wev'e no swimming costumes and it's cold and i can't swim" peeta complains

"firstly we can swim naked it's not like it's a big deal we've seen each other naked loads of times ,secondly it's not cold the sun has been shining on it all day and thirdly the water will only come up to your chest" a sigh escapes his lips

"ok" we take of all our clothes and get in the water peeta seems surprised by it's warmth,

"told you" i say like a stubborn child

"ok you win" he smiles

"i can't believe it soon i'm going to be katniss mellark" peeta smiles as soon as i say mellark

"i can't believe i'm marrying the girl of my dreams" peeta says, a tear rolling down his cheek. i wipe away his tear and kiss him, i wrap my legs around hi waist and he kisses my neck, i can't believe this i'm marrying peeta melark


	13. a train to the capitol

It's been nearly three months since i called dr lough and peeta hasn't gotten any better, as much as he says he has you can still see the tear stains on his pillow so i decide to call dr lough. I walk up to the phone and dial his weird capitol number after a few rings he answers "hello" he says

" hi dr lough it's katniss, peeta isn't any better" he waits a second before answering

"ok, then i'll need to see him in the capitol asap, and i suggest you come with him being in the capitol can give him strong flashbacks and as far as i know the only thing that helps him is you being by his side" i can't help but blush at this

"how about tomorrow?" i suggest

" yes that sounds great come round at 5 so you have time to get here"

"ok thank you bye" i hang up the phone and walk up to peeta who's making pancakes

" we have to catch a train to the capitol in 2 hours so while you're making breakfast i'll start packing, and oh yeah i think it's best if we tell everyone that we're engaged as well there's no doubt it will be all over the news" we never told anyone about our engagement because if we told them that we got engaged the same day effie said we have to be married to have sex it would look weird

"ok" he kisses me on the cheek. i run upstairs and put some clothes in a bag, i decide to put in a couple of dresses and a suit in case we go out for dinner because it's hard not to eat out in the capitol. i grab our bag and run downstairs, i wrap my arms around peetas waist from behind, he doesn't look happy about going back to the capitol so i decide to cheer him up

"at least while we're in the capitol you can get stuff to rebuild the bakery" he smiles

"i guess so, here these are ready", i grab a plate and sit down i eat mine really quickly knowing that we have to tell people about our engagement before we leave

"come on peeta we have to hurry if we are going to tell people about our engagement" he scoffs his down and gets up from his chair

"ok let's go see effie and haymitch first, then we can call your mom, then annie, beetee then johanna" he looks really excited and i can't blame him i've made him keep this secret for so long he looks like he's about to burst. we walk over to haymitch's and decide to knock this time just in case. Effie answers the door

"hey guys come on in" we walk into the living room and sit on the couch

"hello peeta, sweetheart, what brings you here?" says a completely sober haymitch

" well we can't stay long but we've got some exciting news" i say hiding my left hand effie walks over and sits on the couch

"come on then what is it? " she asks giddy with excitement i look at peeta and he gives me a nod

"we're getting married!" we say at the same time ,effie just squeals then she walks over and hugs us with a death grip

"i'm so happy for you guys! well then let me see the ring" i extend my left hand and she takes it in hers examining it

"wow it's beautiful, good pick peeta" haymitch walks over and gives me a tight hug

"congratulations sweetheart" he chokes out, this is weird i've never seen haymitch this emotional before, he must truly care about us. He lets go of me and shakes peeta's hand ,

"well boy you finally got her well done" he says laughing

"well we've got to go we've got a train to catch" peeta says

"where are you going?" haymitch asks

"oh just to the capitol, peeta's rebuilding the bakery and he needs supplies" i know peeta wouldn't want to talk about his nightmares even thinking about them upsets him

"ok i'll see you two when you get back, good luck and congratulations"

"thank you bye" i shout as we leave the house

"come on" peeta says with a smile " we need to tell everybody!" he grabs my hand and practically drags me into the house. i pick up the phone and dial my moms number it rings for about a minute then i hear her voice

"hello" i put the phone on speaker so me and peeta can speak

"hey mom"

"hey mrs everdeen" peeta says

"hey katniss peeta, how are you?"

"were fine but we have some news" a second passes then she speaks up must be the signal

"oh really what kind of news?" she asks i look at peeta and countdown from tree with my fingers

"were getting married!" we shout down the phone "oh congratulations you guys, so whens the big day?"

"were not quite sure yet, we haven't told anyone yet mrs everdeen" peeta says

"ok then i'll let you go so you can tell more people the news bye"

"bye!" we shout down the phone and hang up, we call everyone else and they all seem thrilled. we get our bags and walk to the train station, i can hear the whispers all around me and a lot of pointing, i think most people are looking at my engagement ring, i'm really uncomfortable and peeta can tell, he squeezes my hand and kisses my forehead,m this relaxes me but not completely. Once we are on the train i practically drag peeta to our room. The train isn't the same as the one for the games it's not private and no where near as fancy, so i'm staying in our room for as long as i have to. Our room is quite small, it has a double bed and an on suite bathroom with a small shower, i jump on the bed and groan as i rub my hands on the velvet sheets, peeta laughs and puts our bags in side the wardrobe and lays beside me on the bed stroking my hair looking into my eyes my heart melts and i blush as his deep blue eyes gaze into mine, we just stay like this for a while until we are int erupted by our phone ringing i walk up and answer it "ehh hello" i say still half asleep

"hi katniss it's Caesar flickerman" ok this is weird what does he want?

"hi caesar" i say looking at peeta with a confused expression on my face

"well first of all congratulations on the engagement" wow that was quick I've been out of the house like 20 minutes and he already knows

"wow that was quick and thank you" i say still shocked

"well that's why i called you, i was wondering if while you're at the capitol if you would like to do an interview for old time's sake?"

i am in shock for a moment then reply

"yes that sounds fine" i say

"ok well how about tomorrow night, say 7?"

"yes that sounds fine"

"make sure you're there at 6 for hair and makeup though"

"ok bye Caesar" i hang up the phone and climb in bed with peeta "why was caesar calling?"peeta asks

"he heard about our engagement he asked if he could have an interview and i said yes, if you think about it he helped us during the games so i think we should help him" peeta just smiles and kisses me, he strokes my hair until i fall asleep.


	14. the interviews

i wake up by a loud noise coming from the speaker "we will be arriving in the capitol in 5 minutes" crap we slept in

"peeta, peeta" i say shaking him awake

"whats wrong?" he asks still grumpy

"we are arriving at the capitol we slept in" he immediately jumps out of bed and pulls on a shirt and jeans i get dressed and brush my hair. we get all our bags and head out the door. i get really uncomfortable by the people around me, most of them are capitol citizens so the squealing never stops, but it gets worse when a beam of light shines down on my engagement ring, the whole train goes mental, people pushing through the crowd to congratulate us the train doors open and i practically drag peeta as fast as i can to our hotel across the road we sign in and dash off to our room. i shut the door behind me and sigh

"thank god, i'm sick of all that attention" i say relived that we're away from the paparazzi

"says the girl that agreed to do an interview on national television" says peeta

"oh yeah we probably need to go to get stuff for the bakery soon because we need to be at dr loughs for 5 and then we need to go to the training centre for our interview and we need to get something to eat as well" my stomach rumbles

"wanna order room service?" peeta says practically reading my mind

"yeah!" i say he walks over to the phone

"hello can i have room service for room 231 please, an order of lamb stew with cheese buns and orange chicken, can i also have some chocolate covered strawberries thank you" he hangs up the phone

" lunch sounds good" i say licking my lips

" i thought you might like it " he says smiling we eat and chat, we watch a movie and when it's over i rest my head on his lap and he plays with my hair, but then i realize the time

"peeta it's 2:30 we need to go get bakery stuff before we go see dr lough" his face lights up with recognition

"oh yeah we better get going then" he says smiling. We leave the hotel and walk down the street hand in hand , when we get to the store he practically screams in delight, we spend two hours getting building materials, ovens, counter tops, mixers. i'm so bored but seeing peeta acting like this is kinda are finally done and we make our way to dr loughs, when we get there i walk up to the desk

"hi we have an appointment with dr lough" the woman behind the desk types on her computer for a moment

"okay, names please" she says still looking at her computer

"um.. katniss everdeen and peeta mellark" she stops typing for a moment, she looks shocked for a moment then says "dr lough will see you now" we walk down the hall and into his room "ah katniss peeta, good to see you"

"hello dr lough, nice to see you" i say reaching out his left hand to shake mine, as soon as i stretch out my left hand and shake his he smiles

"i see that the rumours were true, congratulations you two" he says

"thank you" peeta says smiling ear to ear

"now peeta ,katniss please take a seat" he says in a more serious tone "now peeta i hear that you have been having regular nightmares for a month and two weeks now, can you please tell me what your nightmares are about" dr lough says looking down at a clipboard

peeta takes a deep breath "mostly about the dungeons in the capitol, and the occasional about losing katniss" he says i take his hand and kiss it, then rub it with my thumb while they continue to talk

"so peeta any flashbacks lately?" dr lough says

"i had one last week but that's it, and it only lasted a moment" he says i can't believe he kept this from me

"why didn't you tell me?" i say, he gives me a sad look and says

"it was so short i thought it didn't matter" he says looking at the floor

"peeta you should have told her you need to talk to her about these things, bottling things up isn't good, it's extremely bad for your health, i'll put you on some new medication, hopefully this will help you sleep better as well" he says handing peeta a slip, he takes it and puts it in his pocket

"now katniss, dr Phillips, your doctor in 13 has informed me of your miscarriage, since supplies in thirteen were limited you wern't able to take the vitamins you need, so i need to ask you a few questions" i nod " have you had your periods regularly?" this is really personal and peeta's right beside me, awkward

"yes" i say embarrassed

"ok, have you been having any stomach pains, or vomiting?"

"no"

"okay, well i need you to take one of these a day for a week just to be safe" he says and hands me a bottle of purple pills "now peeta you make sure she takes these, she needs to get her health normal again after the miscarriage and the depression" he says

"i will" he says with a serious look on his thank Dr lough and leave, we have no time to get changed so we take a car straight to the training centre, we walk to the prep room and my prep team practically scream their heads off. asking me questions about my engagement and my wedding, that i can't even answer them because every time i go to answer the question they ask a new one. they wax me head to toe.

"time to get to beauty base zero" venia says. 10 minutes later and i'm ready. i'm wearing a knee length ocean blue dress with a heart shape neckline, it's beautiful

"it's beautiful guys thank you " i say

i walk to behind the stage and peetas face lights up when he sees me "wow, you look amazing" he says. Hes wearing a black suit with a white shirt and an ocean blue tie that brings out his eyes

"you don't look too bad yourself" i say giggling I walk over to him and kiss him,i feel his arms around my hips and i put mine around his neck "you ready?" i ask him "ready as i'll ever be" he says bringing his lips to mine we are interrupted a familiar voice

"eeehhhmm come on love birds save it for the cameras" johanna says, i run up to her screaming with delight and hug her "okay brainless i need to breathe you know" she says smiling

i let go of her "omg i can't believe you're here" i say giggling with excitement "i have something to tell you , well me and peeta are getting married" her face stays the same

"kinda already knew that brainless, the whole country knows" she says

"oh yeah well rumours spread in the capitol doesn't always make them true, anyway i was wondering if you would be my maid of honor " i say

"of course" she says and hugs me

"hey brainless i need to breathe you know" i say mimicking her words a smile spreads on her face and she lets go, we stand there chatting for a moment, when we are interrupted by annie and her son finn

" hey guys" she says with a shy smile, we all walk up to her saying hello and how it's been so long since we last saw each other, but it's little finn that gets my attention, he's so adorable, he's got ash brown hair and finnick's sea green eyes, he bounces up and down in annies arms smiling at me as i coo over him, i tickle him and he starts giggling uncontrollably his curly hair bouncing up and down as he does so. he reaches out for me and i look to annie for permission, she just nods her head. i pick him up in my arms and rest him on my hip, i play peek a boo with him and his mouth opens wide as he giggles and i can see a tooth starting to grow in his gum. i bounce him up and down never taking my eyes away from him, i don't even pay attention to whats going on around me until i notice everybody's stopped talking, i turn my head around to see everyone staring at me with there mouths open

"what?" i ask

"hes never laughed like that before" annie says smiling

"you're amazing with him Hun" peeta says and kisses my forehead, i blush but i don't know why

"yeah brainless it's too bad you wern't knocked up in the quell, you would have been a great mom" all of a sudden my heart drops out of my chest, my eyes fill up with tears, i hand finn over to annie and run as fast as my legs can carry me in these heels, i run until i see a small coat closet. perfect. i walk in, close the door and slip under the fur coats. i cry my eyes out until i can't anymore, i just lie there hiccuping and rubbing my face against the coats, I can't help but think about my baby, i never got to feel it kick or hold it for the first time, to look at it and instantly fall in love with it. To have a bubbling laughing baby like finn, he is so adorable, though i have no idea how annie survived on her own without finnick. My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of footsteps, i can instantly tell it's peeta his bionic foot makes his walk funny

"katniss" he shouts i don't answer but then hiccup loudly he opens the door and i try to hide under the coats but he sees me "oh katniss" is all he can say, he sits down beside me and cradles me in his arms "ssshhh, it's alright hun " he says and kisses my forehead."if you want we can always" he sighs as if debating whether to say something or not " t-try a-again" i can't believe he would bring this up at a time like this, although i do like the idea

"ok" is all i can say, he starts to smile

"really" he says smiling more that the day i said i loved him

"yeah why not "i say he kisses me passionately "not now though!" i say laughing " we have an interview to do" he giggles and helps me to my feet i kiss him on the forehead

"lets go we need to go to your prep team, get your makeup done again" he says smiling "you look like a panda"

"hey you i'm not your wife yet " i say giggling and playfully punch him in the arm, he pretends that i hurt him and rubs his arm, we walk back to the prep room and my prep team go ballistic

"oh my goodness katniss your make up is ruined" octavia shrieks after 10 minutes of make up repair we walk back to behind the stage where annie, fin and johanna are talking

"hey brainless what was with the getaway?" Johanna says peeta gives her a death look and says

"leave it be she doesn't want to talk about it" he says i look at him and say

"peeta i'm fine, i might as well tell them effie knows after all it won't be long until the whole world knows" i say with a half hearted smile

"hun are you sure?" he asks me looking concerned

i nod "i actually was pregnant during the quell, i only found out when we got to 13 but i lost it" i say looking at the floor

"oh katniss, i'm so sorry" annie says hugging me, finn hugs me as well and i smile

"thanks" i say

"katniss i'm sorry i didn't know , i would never have said_" i interrupt her by hugging her "what was that for?" she says

"you said my name for once" i say giggling she smiles back  
"oh yeah " she says we are interrupted by a camera man  
" mrs odair were ready for you" she walks up to me and Asks me to watch finn i take him in my arms and play with him while i watch the screen cesar is standing on stage

"hello everyone tonight we have some very special guests, we have Annie odair, johanna Mason and of course peeta mellark and the soon to be katniss mellark" everyone cheers as they hear the names but it's ours that gets the most applause "first we have Annie odair" Annie walks in wearing a purple silk dress "hello Annie nice to see you" the crowd roars

"nice to see you too cesar"

"now Annie first of all I'd like to say how sorry we are about finnicks death he was a great man and he died for a great cause"

"thank you cesar that truly means a lot "

" now Annie how has life been after the war"

"well not much has happened apart from Finn being born after all he's too much like his daddy he loves attention so he keeps me up most of the night."

"oh yes your son finnick junior how is he"

"oh he's fine he gets more handsome everyday he looks so much like his father"

" that's good to hear where is he at the moment?"

"oh katniss has him at the moment he loves her to bits she was playing with him earlier he was laughing so much I've never seen him like that before" I can't help but smile at this while I bounce Finn on my knee on the sofa

"you know you look just like your daddy " I say

" ddddaaddyy" Finn gurgles I become shocked at what I just heard

" yes Finn you look like your daddy "

" dddaaaaddy" finn says again I am interrupted by

"well could katniss bring him out so we can have a look at him?"

"yes of course but please be quiet he gets scared by noise" annie says with a concerned tone

"yes of course ,katniss can you bring him out please " I walk onto the stage and the crowd goes wild I hand him over to Annie

" before I go Annie you have to see this"

" Finn who do you look like"

"dddaaddy" he gurgles again

Annie just sits there shocked "his first word" she says with a smile, a single tear rollers her cheek and the crowd is filled with awwwws cesar puts his finger up to his mouth to silence the audience for finns sake "thank you katniss" she says smiling at me

i walk off the stage "well he is just the spitting image of his father and he puts on a good show for the audience as well" everyone chuckles slightly

"i know it helps with him being gone knowing that i have finnick junior with me" she says awws fill the audience and cesar looks like he is about to cry, he reaches over and rubs annies back gently

"so annie do you have any plans for the future?" cesar says trying to change the subject

"well i was thinking of becoming a teacher although i'm not sure i would be right for the job" she says looking at the floor

"why not i think you'd be an excellent teacher what about you folks?" the crowd cheers and whistles

"i don't think i would be able to cope if i ever had to teach about the games" she says. I know what she means, everytime someone mentions the games she gets flashbacks a bit like peeta but she just looks shocked when she has hers. Cesar looks confused, i guess no one has ever talked about the horrors of being a victor, the flashbacks, the nightmares, the crippling fear that something will happen to your loved ones, the inability to enjoy even the simplest things from fear that they will be taken away from you

"why not?" cesar says

"i would have a breakdown the games taunt my life enough, almost every victor is effected by the games, i have nightmares every night , flashbacks every morning, in thirteen i used to hear katniss screaming peeta's name at night begging for him to run, finnick used to scream in his sleep about mutts and the forcefield, beetee told me that he never sleeps because he will be woken by horrible terrors of the arenas, it is one of the worst things you can go through not just physically but mentally it's even harder" everyone looks shocked by what they hear, kids were being forced to fight to the death and most of them had to sell there bodies to capitol citizens of course we're mentally damaged!

"that sounds so horrible" cesar says " i am sorry annie but your time is up" he stands up and helps her to her feet with a nearly sleeping finn in her arms "annie odair everyone" the audience gives silent claps as she walks off stage, we all walk up to her hugging her and letting her know that she did okay

"are you sure you are okay with me saying about your night terrors katniss i am truly sorry it just slipped out" she says in a serious tone

"no seriously annie it's fine, i probably would have blurted it out anyway" i say with a half hearted smile she giggles slightly at my joke

"miss mason we're ready for you" she gets up form the couch she was sitting on and walks over to the stage

"miss johanna mason everyone" everyone claps as she sits down "so johanna how have you been doing after the rebellion" cesar asks her

"well i'm alright i just carve things out of wood all day i don't have any friends in district 7 they were all murdered by that a****** snow" she says quite bluntly

"well i'm sorry to hear that" cesar says "have you any plans for the furture?" he asks her

"not really but i am gonna be katniss' maid of honor in her wedding " she says smiling cesar looks confused

"i thought you two hated eachother" he says

"well not really, i just hated her and peeta's lovie dovie act but when i found out that the quarter quell stuff wasn't an act i had more respect for her and then in thirteen we bonded in a way that is hard to explain she helped me heal after i was rescued, she even let me steal her morphling when we were in the hospital together although she probably need it as much as i did with her depression about losing peeta and the baby" her face gets covered as soon as she mentions the baby "shit" she mumbles under her breath

"i thought there was no baby in the first place " cesar says with a really confused look on his face

"i can't say anything else i never should have said that in the first place" she says angry at herself

"well thank you for speaking with me today, johanna mason everybody" she stands up and walks off stage she walks straight up to me and says

"katniss i'm so sorry i really didn't mean to mention it just slipped out" she says looking upset

"it's okay brainless i was gonna tell them anyway" i say trying to make her feel better it must have worked slightly because she smiles

"katniss everdeen and peeta melark everybody!" he says and we know that's our queue to walk onstage the crowd goes wild when we walk on stage, we wave to the crowd and blow kisses people practically jump out of their chairs catching them. we sit down on the love seat hand in hand and cesar gets the audience to calm down "now guys before we talk about johanna's little slip up, we need to confirm the rumors of your engagement" he says

"yes peeta and i are engaged" i say holding my left hand out to the audience showing off my ring the crowd is filled with oohhs and aawws.

"well you heard it here first folks the star crossed lover of district twelve are getting married, now katniss a lot of people were questioning your engagement due to your pretending to love him for sponsors, what have you got to say on this subject?" i start to sweat as i realize what he is asking me, i haven't even really explained this to peeta before, but then again he did tell the entire world that he loved me, we were married and that i was pregnant without even telling me

"well, um eh, it's complicated" i could feel peeta squeezing my hand, encouraging me so i take a deep breath "well, when peeta told everyone that he loved me, all i could feel was shock and anger, i had got into my mind that he made me look pathetic and weak, in fact i ended up pushing him into a vase" i hear peeta chuckle slightly and the whole audience burst out laughing "and everytime he did something nice which was always, it's peeta after all, i kept thinking to myself this is just an act so i will trust him and he would kill me as soon as i got into the arena" i chuckle to myself "i obviously didn't know him very well back then, so anyway when i found him by that river i was so afraid he was going to die, if i am completely honest all of the things you saw in the 74th games and the victory tour were pretend , but the quarter quell was a different story, i guess it took the fact that there was no way we were getting out there alive to make me realize my feelings for him" i hate having to say anything about my private life on tv but peetas' support is all i need, i look into his eyes which look like they're about to fill with tears

"aaww well i think it's time to talk about miss masons comment, would you care to tell us what she was talking about?" well here it goes my mouth is about to open when i hear peeta's voice

"if you don't mind ceasar i'd prefer if we didn't talk about this" i can see the pain in his eyes

"peeta effie knows about it, they'll know soon anyway" i say

"are you sure katniss you don't need to tell them" i nod

"i actually was pregnant during the quell" i hear the gasps coming from the audience and cesar just looks horrified

"but we were told that it wasn't true" cesar says

"well, i never told anyone, i was too depressed after i found out i was even pregnant in the first place" i mumble but the microphone on my dress makes audible

"so you didn't even know?" ceasar asks his expression still filled with shock

"no i was too early for any symptoms, i was only about 2 weeks along in the arena" i say and immediately regret my words, i just told the whole of panem that i had sex with peeta in the training centre, i can feel the heat radiating off my face and quickly avert my gaze to the floor

"well that is a shame, i know i speak for everyone here when i say i am truly sorry for your loss" the audience starts to clap

"thank you" peeta says while rubbing my back, my eyes are still on the floor and are starting to fill with tears

"so i am sure everyone wants to know, how did peeta pop the question?" i lift my eyes from the floor and lift into a smile, that was an amazing day

"well, peeta took me on a picnic by the lake that my father used to take me to, it was alot of fun, when the sun was setting he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him." i hear the awws coming from the audience

"aaw well that's just adorable, now katniss, i think i'm speaking for everyone here when i ask you how did you get such amazing training scores?" oh how could i forget? i chuckle to myself slightly as i remember Plutarch falling into the punch bowl

"well , that's a funny story actually, well effie didn't think it was. anyway i walked into the training center to get evaluated and when i looked up i noticed that nearly everyone was drunk out of their minds, i lifted the bow and placed an arrow into it, it didn't feel like my arrows at home, the string was a lot stiffer and it was hard to get used to, i fired at the target but i missed, everyone burst out laughing. i loaded my next arrow and it hit the very center perfectly, but not many people noticed they were to busy drooling over the roasted pig someone had ordered, i continued to shoot down the lamps in the ceiling and the punching bag and doing the occasional roll. When i looked up a couple of gamemakers were impressed but the rest wern't even paying attention, i got really mad. so i fired an arrow through the apple in the hogs mouth." the entire audience burst out laughing "and that's not even the best part, when i did it plutarch actually fell into the punch bowl!" i didn't think it was possible but the audience actually got louder with laughter, and cesar looks like he's gonna die with laughter

"well i have to say that took some nerve" he says trying to contain himself " but what about the twelve?"

"well i made a noose, put a dummy in it and painted seneca crane on it, i think they gave peeta and i such high scores was to make us targets" the crowd calms down and i hear muffled voices

"well i certainly understand why you got that score, what about you peeta?" cesar says

"i painted a picture of rue on the ground using the dyes " peeta says , the crowd is filled with awws

"well i'm sorry to say that that's all we have time for, thank you for coming, good night " cesar shout to the crowd the camera beeps signaling that it has stopped filming, i let out a breath that i didn't know i was holding in

"you did great kat " peeta says smiling 'what did he just call me?'

"em what did you just call me?" i ask he blushes a deep crimson

"i-mm s-s-or-rr y I-"

"no i like it" i say interrupting him smirking

"oh do you now ?" he says in a seductive voice while wiggling his eyebrows, i giggle and slap him playfully, i take his hand and help him up as i can tell that his prostetic is stiff

"come on lets go find the others" i say pulling him off stage

_**authors note**_

_**well there you go guys i'm sorry it took so long for me to update i've had exams and lots of writers block! anyways please vote and comment telling me what you think or what you think should happen **_


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